Every child has a different way of showing love and feeling love from others. For example, spending time with your child, leaving them a note, buying their favorite snack, talking to them, and so much more are just a few of the ways people show others love. Try to find out the love language for each of your children. Below are examples of the 5 love languages explained by Gary Chapman.
Gary Chapman wrote a book called, “The Five Love Languages.” In his book he explains the five love languages of people as: Words of Affirmation, quality time, physical touch, receiving gifts and acts of service.
Words of Affirmation: People need to hear compliments, to be “strokerd” by the words of others.
Quality Time: People feel love by others when they spend time with them listening, talking, walking and going on trips.
Physical Touch: People feel love when through being touched, hugged, sat close to, back rubs and such.
Receiving Gifts: People feel love through recieving thoughtful gifts from others. Doesn’t have to be expensive, but personal.
Acts of Service: People hear love through giving them acts of service for example: making beds, cleaning the bathroom and doing chores that they don’t like.
Chapman suggests trying all five love languages out to find what works for your children. You kids aren’t necessarily able to tell you what they prefer, but if you observe them you will probably be able to tell. For example, if your child loves to come jump up on your lap and cuddle, physical touch is likely their principle love language.
Here are some very brief examples for you of how to use the five love languages…
-Kisses, hugs and a pat on the back.
-Holding your child while reading them a story.
Words of Affirmation:
-Use words of encouragement, show affection and praise.
-Focused attention, being together, spending time with each of your children and giving them eye contact.
-True gifts are an expression of love and is universal. Your child’s emotional tank must be full inorder to give a gift otherwise they might think you are just trying to buy their love. Not all gifts come from a store. Finding pretty wildflowers or a special rock can be gifts.
Acts of Service:
-Parenting is a service oriented vocation. It doesn’t mean doing everything for your child. The acts of service should be age appropiate. Even making your child’s favorite meal is an act of service.
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Picture courtesy of TeachYourChildToThink