Your child may be pushing your buttons, but he/she isn’t causing your response. Lashing out, yelling, screaming, throwing things etc.. isn’t one bit going to help the situation. It may make you feel better for a moment, but won’t solve anything. It is harmful to your kids. They will remember how you react to things and you are passing whatever ways of coping with your anger onto your child… only to be repeated by them when they may have children someday. We should expect that out kids will act in a way that will want to send us over the edge some days. It’s our job as mature PIC adults and parents to respond in a positive way.
What happens to your child when you scream or hit? Imagine your husband or wife yelling and screaming at you. Now imagine them 3 times as big as you, towering over you screaming. SCARY uh?! Your kids depend on you completely for food, guidance, clothes, nutrition, shelter and safety. You’re their source of love and self confidence and how they learn about the world. Of course all of us can get angry at our children. The challenge is to call on our maturity so that we can control that expression of anger. Besides verbal abuse as mentioned earlier, children who suffer from physical abuse have also been proven to exhibit lasting negative behaviors that reach into every corner of their lives.
If your child does not have any reaction to your anger, that means that they’ve had and seen too much of it. They have developed defenses against it. The child is less likely to want to behave to please you. They are more likely to get persuaded by peer pressure. Furthermore, you have some work to do and it should start today!
Commit NOW to NO hitting, NO swearing, NO name calling, NO giving punishments when you’re angry, NO screaming! If you have to scream go into your car with your windows rolled up and scream..not at your children or anywhere where they can hear it!
Your children will certainly see you angry from time to time, but it will teach them a lot on how you handle your anger!
Here are a few suggestions on helping with your anger towards your child…Set limits before you get angry, make a list of positive ways of dealing with your anger and post it up so you can see it, take 5 (come back when you’ve calmed down a bit. Anger is a terrible start to any situation.) Listen to your anger rather than acting on it. (Sometimes we are carrying around anger that has nothing to do with our children, but they get yelled at for no reason at all. Listen to your yourself and why you are really angry.) Wait before disciplining. (Give yourself some time to give punishments to your child when you’ve cooled down a bit.) AVOID PHYSICAL FORCE NO MATTER WHAT! Monitor your tone, Don’t make threats, consider that you may be part of the problem and choose your battles.
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