Jul 12

Situations to Handle Sibling Rivalry

“You love sister more than me!”

“Why can’t I get a TV in my room too?”

Do you ever hear these questions between siblings? One feels you love their sister more and the other wants a television in their room because their older brother just got one so it’s only fair. But is it fair? Do you show more love to one child over the other? Find out how to handle situations just like this, between sibling rivalry.

Siblings will fight, then makeup, complain, then be best of friends all within one day. For those moments that siblings don’t see eye-to-eye, a parent/guardian might feel all they can do is throw their hands up and lock themselves in a closet. Before you throw away the key, take note of the 3 different situations to help overcome those frustrating moments for both you and your children.


Temperaments are common in children, as their schedule changes so does their adaptation to a new environment. This behavior might lead to frustration amongst the children and raise questions such as “Why do I have to go to sister’s ballet class when she never goes to my swim class”? Being out of one’s element and not understanding why they’re in a situation which they are, will cause a temperament and lead the parent to frustration as well. Stay calm, even if this behavior happens daily. Just remember, children pick up on adult behavior, what they see is what they act. If you stay calm and make appropriate behavior decisions, your children will eventually follow your lead of well-behavior.

Unique Personalities

Even though your children look identical, they have complete opposite and unique personalities. Respect their uniqueness and differences in behavior, all while teaching them right from wrong. One child might have more energy in the evening, while the other child needs their sleep. Separate the two children in two different rooms (even on different levels of the house if you can). Let one room be the “loud” room, while the other room is considered the “quiet” room. Maintain this rule throughout the day time as well. When a child is sleepy or want to read a book, they know they can rest in the quiet room. And the loud room is for practicing instruments, watching TV or play time. Again, encourage your child’s personality, but have guidelines for them to follow at the same time.


Children have their minds set on their way, but they need structure and ground rules to follow too. Simple rules such as keeping their hands to themselves, no yelling inside, and be respectful of others can be challenging, but much needed behavioral structure. Simple rules lead to simple solutions. When you start with simple rules you’ll soon find each of your children listening to more rules and structuring their behavior on the basis of your “simple rules”. Siblings want to be treated the same, and structuring their rules will encourage good behavior to each other. Be sure to maintain repetition and consistency, and don’t let your frustration get in the way of your structure.

In addition, remember to give your child that one-on-one time for the two of you to share. It’s important for children to feel love, even if its at different moments than their sibling.  Children still need that feeling of being wanted and loved.

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